October 2002

This month's issue.

  • Japanese stuff
  • Outstanding Okinawa
  • A joke
  • Interview with Brett
  • 'Have you been in Japan too long?'survey
  • Noh drama activity

Hi, firstly I would like to say how shocked I am about the bombing in Bali.. A lot of regular young people who liked surfing or who were on football end of season trips or holiday makers died. They died for absolutely no reason which is why I find it difficult to accept. It was way too close to home for my liking and it could very easily have been you or I enjoying a break. I've often thought of going to Bali enroute back home and I am sure Stewart and Larry or anybody else who has been to Bali has a mixed feeling of luck, vulnerability and disbelief. What's next? Visiting a temple in Thailand or sitting in a café in Sydney and your world comes to a sudden blank?
Human life has to be worth more.
People who kill other people have a total inability to look at a situation through the eyes of the victims family and friends. I guess we just have to appreciate the moment, now, because we may not be here at some moment later.
Something a little more light hearted. If you love outdoor things like mountain biking and hiking, canoeing etc there is an adventure race every year called the 'Eco-challenge' where competitors from different countries go though 8 days of hell. It's endurance racing at it's peak. There are losts of different strategies involved and team dynamics which make it interesting. It has just been completed this year. Check out the web site at www.ecochallenge.com


Outstanding Okinawa by - Me

Yes that's right, I have selfishly decided to write about my holiday experience rather than get somebody to write about theirs. But that's only because if I asked them they probably wouldn't do it anyway. (a broadside at those lazy FIA trainers).

Anyway I took one of these cheap package trips you can find in AB Road magazine which includes airfare, hotel, breakfasts, rental car, and some other freebies like use of certain hotel facilities etc.

I went for 5 days and stayed at a place called the Okinawa Renaissance Hotel. Which is one of those postcard luxury resort type places. I have to say it almost lived up to the postcard image. It really was quite luxurious with snappy friendly service. It had everything imaginable from Onsen to banana boat to indoor and outdoor swimming pool, scuba diving etc. If you went for a week you wouldn't actually need to leave the hotel at all. I tried the 'Sea Walk' which was pretty alright, they put this hard old fashioned deep sea diving helmet with the oxygen line on your head, then you feed the fish by hand and hope Jaws doesn't rock up.

Being the Renaissance man that I am (note the Hotel they named after me) I did a bit of the cultural thing and went to a 'Ryuku Mura' or a traditional Okinawan village. I saw some Okinawa dancing and can safely say in my expert opinion that the Kimono's and dance style and Shamesan are all quite different. Actually I prefer the Okinawan style to the Japanese one because it's more vibrant and colourful. I also discovered Okinawan people look different to your average Japanese - therefore I concluded after much scientific mascinations that in fact Okinawans are not Japanese. My God! They will be talking about that revelation for ages to come I bet you.

They are essentially an Island people as opposed Japanese who are bigger Island people.
They look a little more Polynesian mixed with Chinese, Phillipino and Taiwanese (traditional Island Taiwanese I theorise have a common ancestral thread). In fact it has been said by some important person like myself that the Ainu of Hokaido are the same people as the Okinawans.

They also have strong Korean influences which can be seen with the two dogs placed at the gates and on roof tops to scare away evil spirits such as those emanating from people who espouse dangerous theories of the migratory habits Asian people.

They still speak largely their own language amongst themselves. My Japanese is so bad I thought they were speaking Japanese until my better half informed me otherwise (she didn't speak Japanese when she informed me though).

Before I arrived on the Island I didn't support the fact there are American Military bases there. I still don't to a certain degree but I have to say without them
the Okinawan economy and unemployment would be in trouble. There seems to be an acceptance down there that they need each other and they get along well despite what you hear in the news. It does seem a shame though that an Island with such a terrible history of human loss can't some how be a sanctuary and symbol of peace and anti militarism.

Some interesting war facts:
Okinwawa lost 100,000 civilians from it's 300,000 total population. (more than the lives lost from the two atomic bombs) Japanese army (which included an uncertain number of Okinawan conscrpits) lost 107,000.
U.S. army lost 12,000 soldiers, mostly naval personal from Kamikaze flights.

It was the biggest and bloodiest operation of the Pacific war and helped lead to the decision not to attack the mainland but use Atomic bombs instead.
They are just numbers but if you think deeply about them, it's just mind blowing. I feel really sorry for the Okinawans - perhaps that's why they like singing and dancing so much to forget their losses.
Anyhow Okinawa was great and I would recommend it to anyone.

Would you like to talk about a travel experience?


A Joke from Paul

A young boy went up to his father and asked: "What is the difference between potentially and realistically?"

The father pondered for a while, then answered: "Go ask your mother if she would live with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Also ask your sister if she would live with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you have learned."

So the boy went to his mother and asked: "Mum, would you live with Robert Redford for a million dollars?"

The mother replied: "Of course I would. I wouldn't pass an opportunity like that."
The boy then went to his sister and said: "Would you live with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

The girl replied: "Oh gosh!! I would just love to do that! I would have to be nuts to pass up an opportunity like that!!"

The boy thought about for a couple of days and then went back to his Dad.
His father asked him: "Did you find out the differeence between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"

The boy replied, "Yes, potentially we are sitting on 2 million dollars, but realistically we are living with two naïve women."
The father replied, "That's my boy!"

(you can make this joke more funny by changing th e two words 'live' and 'naïve' - I was just playing it safe here.)

Any complaints about this joke direct them to Paul.
Do you have any jokes?


Interview with Brett Hamaker

Home city: Long Beach California.
Hobbies/interests: None
Best Japanese food: Karage kun red from Lawson.
Best restaurant in Japan: Coco Ichiban
Best drinking place: The Gas Panic in Roppongi
Best Japanese word/phrase: "mo dame"
(I bet he's been told that a few times too - editor)
Worst thing about Japan: "I never know what the hell is going on."
Favourite interchange lesson:
"the one where I ask the student about his hobbies"
Best kind of Ramen: Miso
Best music: Gangsta rap (with lots of profanity)
Best movie: "Anything obtained illegally will do."
Best drink: Red eye (no relation to the brown eye)
Embarrasing moment in Japan:
"My answer to the previous question".
Personal goal: "To visit more than 100 countries and to someday be as wise as Andrew Lynch."
Prefer futon or bed: neither.


You know you have been in Japan too long when…(brought to you by Michael Smith, stolen from somewhere.)
  • You don't think it is unusual for a truck to play "it's a small world when it is backing up".
  • You really enjoy corn soup with your Big Mac.
  • You think the commercials are the best part of TV.
  • You think cod roe spaghetti with chilled red wine is a typical Italian dish.
  • You have mastered the art of simultaneously bowing and hanshaking.
  • You think one kind of rice tastes better than another kind.
  • You find yourself apologizing at least three times per conversation.
  • You find yourself practising golf swings with your umbrella on the train platform.
  • You buy an individually wrapped potato at the supermarket.
  • You think sushi at a baseball game is perfectly normal.
  • You use the "slasher hand" and continuous bowing to make your way through a crowd.
  • Back home for a short visit you wait patiently for the taxi to open it's door for you.
  • You start bowing on the telephone when you end the conversation.
  • You accept that you have to queue to get a number for the next queue.
  • You are quite content to repeat your order six times on a menu that only has 4 items.
  • You have an uncontrollable urge to follow people with small flags.
  • You regard it as an adventure when the waiter exactly repeats your order and the chef cooks something exactly different.
  • You are not surprised when you see 3 men with a ladder turn up to change one light bulb.
  • You run for the train pushing past people and holding the doors open while squeezing your bag through because you know the next train doesn't come for another minute.
  • You get blasted by a political sound truck and think "shoganai".
  • You can't take a picture without your fingers forming the peace sign.
  • You go to a coffee shop in your home country and order "Amercian coffee".
  • You have learn't how to squat on a Japanese toilet without wetting your pants or smashing your head on the cistern.

Noh Theatre - by Tony Hajjar

"After having had the opportunity to enjoy the spectacle of the oldest form of theatre in the world, I feel that everyone should have the chance to partake in this most reverent style of entertainment. Noh kidding."

This is a quote by me because I simply couldn't resist the pun, just as most English trainers I talk to about Noh can't do. Several of us FIA English trainers who study Japanese were lucky enough to get to see live theatre as part of our Japanese study. I have been a thespian for many years, and I never lose the sense of awe I get every time I see a live theatrical production. The outdoor Noh plays I saw at Shimizu on Saturday, October 12th, didn't disappoint. In fact, there was a mystical quality to the entire evening.

The plays were set in ancient times in the Shimizu area. The Hagoromo allegory is set at Shimizu beach, which is exactly where we were as we watched the plays. There was an outdoor stage built for this production, including a long ramp lined by a bamboo gate, which acted as the road to Gotemba. At least I think that's where the road lead. There were two other plays put on for the evening as well. Atsumori, another famous Noh allegory, and a peculiar little comedy with a character that thought he was a hummingbird…or maybe a bee. I didn't catch the story line of this one, but it sure seemed funny at the time.

We all had summaries of the stories, so we knew the basic plot lines of the plays we were watching. There were even a few times that I was able to catch a word or two. But it was the atmosphere that really took my breath away on Saturday evening; it struck me as being somehow surreal. As the play began it was just dusk. The sun was falling and the glimpse we could still see of the ocean waves beating at the shoreline soon faded into the black silhouette of ancient pine trees that soon became the backdrop of this ethereal stage. (What? Too flowery? Don't be a philistine.)

The rich texture of chorus, players, music and costumes wove together and provided an elegant beauty that drew you into the action, and engaged your aesthetic sensibilities at the same time. The wind started to blow as the play began; almost as though it was part of the stage directions.

As the Kumagair-Jiro-Maozane character in Atsumori lamented his killing of the young lord, his retelling of how he decapitated 16-year-old Atsumori ended with a spectral white paper blowing across the stage. Perhaps the ghost of Atsumori was with us after all.

The same was true of the Hagoromo play. The heavenly bodies we saw blowing across the stage could have been phantoms of ancient Japanese fishermen who had traveled through Shimizu over 500 years ago, still searching for the elusive feather mantel. Who's to say they were just the zigzag papers that were blowing off the rope hung above the stage? The beautiful flute playing was enough to allow me to suspend my disbelief for the evening. The music and the costumes made me believe I was in 15th century Japan. The gigantic 650-year-old pine tree buttressed with four large log supports which sat directly behind the stage, set the mood for a 600 or so year old morality play.

I was extremely impressed by the concentration of the actors. The stage was cold with a brisk westerly, and the debris that floated across occasionally was certainly a distraction to the audience. But the actors never lost concentration. They never broke character even to blow warm air on their hands. The chorus was particularly stoic. They sat there on the stage with their legs tucked under them for hours, without even twitching. I was amazed.

The Hagoromo play was the last performance of the evening. It ended with the angel doing a mystical dance for the fisherman, (some say a priest) who gave her dress back. This was a stunning performance in and of itself with the music, the elaborate costume and the skill of the actor performing the dance. As the dance got closer to the end, the music built to a final crescendo. Just as the performance was over for the evening, the wind stopped…right on cue.

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